The Beginning of a Quest

An exercise for my Advanced Composition class had students sit with a pen and paper and write any question that came to their heads. The purpose was to help us brainstorm topics for an upcoming creative nonfiction paper. This is what I’ve learned from mine.

Why is the wind blowing so hard outside?

Is my pen going to run out of ink during this exercise? (yes)

Why did I not talk to a friend for over a year?

Why are fountain pens the best?

Why is planning therapeutic for some, yet unbearably stressful for others?

Why is motivation so fleeting?

Where did my motivation go?

Did my motivation possess someone else?

If so, is it at least doing someone some good?

Why does Faber-Castell ink dry so fast in the nibs of my pens?

If I mixed green and blue ink, would it look gross?

Why do a lot of boys spend so much time indoors?

How do you draw a boy outdoors?

Once you get him there, how do you keep him there?

Why do I have such a hard time making decisions?

Why is independence so easy, yet so hard?

Contrary to the silly questions about my fountain pen (which in fact did run out of ink while I was writing this on paper), I pondered the more serious questions about motivation. I finish things. I have never started a paper and not finished it. I have never quit after cleaning only half a room. I finish things.

Except when it comes to my personal growth. I start eating healthy, running, being fit, but a month or two later, you will find me at Dairy Queen twice a week. I resolve to read my Bible every day. A week or two later, my Bible sits gathering dust on the shelf. It seems the only personal growth resolution I’ve followed through on is getting more sleep. Why? Why is it so hard to stay motivated to do things that will make me a much better, happier person in the near future?

Even the title of my blog reflects my half-finished, indecisive attitude. It is indefinitely untitled because I could never think of a title I wouldn’t want to change later. Why do I have such a problem with staying motivated to follow through on my personal endeavors?

An exploration of motivation and why it is so fleeting.